Love and marriage Japanese style

It has become apparent that some things in Japan never change.
Love and marriage in Japan seems to be one of them.
When travelling to Japan keep the following in mind, one of the first questions anyone is going to ask you is "are you married" and then when you say "no" they will look at you with this sad look of pity. "Poor thing is 29 and not married....she must live such a sad and lonely life with no one to get up at 5am to make a bento for...."

Even my Japanese mother seemed to lack an understanding of the fact that I dont want to get married. oh well, I guess it is my job to show that one can be unmarried and still happy. And that being unmarried, I do not spend all my time and energy trying to become that which I am not.

For some reason, in Japan they still view marriage as a mandatory step in life that needs to completed in order to truly become a fully functioning member of society. A woman needs to have someone to "take care of", heaven forbid she decide that she wants to take care of herself only.

Japanese men on the other hand seem to be reluctant to marry until they have been given no other choice either by familial pressures, a overly demanding girlfriend or pregnancy. I found out that one of my friends has recently found himself in just this situation and it broke my heart to see the expression on his face as he told me about the direction his life has taken.

He recently got married, although from what I can tell, somewhat secretly and only due the "delicate" condition of his girlfriend, whom I'm not really sure was much of a girlfriend to begin with. When he told me he was married I didn't believe him because no one had told me before hand. I seriously thought he was joking. I soon found out he was in fact telling the truth but that noone else had told me because noone else actually knew. No ring, no wedding, I'm not even sure if they live together. He will have a baby next week.

I asked him if he was happy, his response was simply "I don't want to do it, but I must." He looked sad and simply tired.

As the great philosopher Frank Sinatra once said:

love and marriage
love and marriage
go together like a horse and carriage
this I tell you brother,
you can't have one without the other

Apparently not in Japan...

Cheers from the land of true love
J