She's finally here!!!

After 2 days of labour and one false alarm, Ms. Abigail Thompson finally arrived on August 11th, 2011 at about noon. She is tiny and perfect and cute and lovely and I'm the happiest aunty in the whole world. She is just finishing up her 2 days in the hospital and should be snuggled into her real home in a few hours. Here in Thailand where you pay for your medical care, they make sure you get what you paid for. Carrie has been up in her "basic" room with full kitchen, over, fridge, giant flat screen TV and catering service for the past 2 days as part of her birthing package. It's pretty sweet and they make sure that she is checked, measured and proded at regular intervals to make sure that she and little Abigail are ready to go home and start their new life. As far as I witnessed, they did not check or prod Grant to see if he's ready...this could be disastrous.

This whole new baby thing has been an interesting experience for me all around. Being someone who has very little, if not no desire to have a child myself, I wondered if putting that little person in my arms only hours after her arrival into the world would change my mind. Would I be overcome with globby, gooey maternal honey? Would I instantaneous start to assess the breeding quality of every single man I came in contact with? Would I mistakenly "forget" to take my pill in the morning every once in a while? Would I, the fort knox of contraception and anti-procreation, begin to come apart at the seams? The answer came quick and heavy...no, no I am not.  Putting that little lady in my arms was magic and to look into her little eyes and touch her little nose and lips and ears and toes is amazing but I couldn't help but look at Carrie and Grant and think "my God, you have to look after that thing 24/7 for the next god knows how many years..." and as awful as it sounds I feel sorry for them that they lives are now completely controlled by a little lady. I know I can never understand because I don't understand the fact that people WANT to have their lives controlled by little people. I know parents take joy in letting some things in life fade into their childless pasts since those gaps are quickly filled with experiences that people such as myself will never have but I guess I'm just not cut out for it. I seriously think I would resent a child for robbing me of my carefree life. That is the true measure of my selfishness. It's quite sad actually but I can't deny it and I must always remind myself of this feeling so that I don't bring a child into the world who will be resented by its mother. Instead, I will take all the maternal love that is in me (and there is a good dose in there) and shower it all over the babies of those around me. I think it's a good deal, because I don't have enough to give a child of my own, I will take all that I have and give it to a child who is not and their mom and dad can fill in when I run out. 

I'm pretty excited for the year ahead. Lots of time with the little one and lots of time to reassure myself that I'm better off barren...

Cheers from the contraceptive Fort Knox

J