Getting older....?
Tonight was an interesting night.
Some of my students from Britannia High who are now in grade 12 had a gig at a cafe down the street. Me, some friends and the former band and drama teacher from Britannia went down to check out the teenaged musical action in all its delight. What met me was something that i did not expect and what I have yet to approach or analyze from a strategical perspective...the fact that I am indeed old. I am still under the impression that I do not look, act or feel old but it is in fact a total delusion.I AM OLD. The worst part is that I am not just a little old, I am completely old. My former students were more than happy to run up to me and give me a big hug but it was the "yay! You are a cool TEACHER" hug, not the "yay YOU are cool" hug and this for me is disturbing. Do I want to be friends with a bunch of 17 year olds? Most definitely not but I must admit that there, sitting down amongst the bright eyed, underage beer drinking, hormonally charged sweet 17s I had a bit of a hard time distinguishing myself from them in my own mind. Now granted, they are EAST Van 17 year olds which means that they look and act and have the hip factor of most regular 20 year olds but even then, I am NOT 20! Perhaps I am trying to grasp onto my last threads of youth. I don't really know...
It was sobering...we were the "table of old guys in the back". I don't want to be the "table of old guys" I am NOT an old lady!! I REFUSE TO BE AN OLD LADY!!!
Tonight is my 10 year high school reunion...maybe that has something to do with this fear of getting on....ugh!
I long for the heady days of youth...the heady days of teacherdom just aren't as exciting!
Cheers from the retirement home
J
Tonight was an interesting night.
Some of my students from Britannia High who are now in grade 12 had a gig at a cafe down the street. Me, some friends and the former band and drama teacher from Britannia went down to check out the teenaged musical action in all its delight. What met me was something that i did not expect and what I have yet to approach or analyze from a strategical perspective...the fact that I am indeed old. I am still under the impression that I do not look, act or feel old but it is in fact a total delusion.I AM OLD. The worst part is that I am not just a little old, I am completely old. My former students were more than happy to run up to me and give me a big hug but it was the "yay! You are a cool TEACHER" hug, not the "yay YOU are cool" hug and this for me is disturbing. Do I want to be friends with a bunch of 17 year olds? Most definitely not but I must admit that there, sitting down amongst the bright eyed, underage beer drinking, hormonally charged sweet 17s I had a bit of a hard time distinguishing myself from them in my own mind. Now granted, they are EAST Van 17 year olds which means that they look and act and have the hip factor of most regular 20 year olds but even then, I am NOT 20! Perhaps I am trying to grasp onto my last threads of youth. I don't really know...
It was sobering...we were the "table of old guys in the back". I don't want to be the "table of old guys" I am NOT an old lady!! I REFUSE TO BE AN OLD LADY!!!
Tonight is my 10 year high school reunion...maybe that has something to do with this fear of getting on....ugh!
I long for the heady days of youth...the heady days of teacherdom just aren't as exciting!
Cheers from the retirement home
J
1 Comments:
Were you at that table with the weird old broad with the cane? Great post Joe. Welcome to the pre-senior years. Goodbye cool . . . hello middle-aged, suburban(e) existence.
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