The Trouble with Trolling

Although the title of this post may suggest you are about to enjoy a salacious yet witty anecdote about the trials and tribulations or a 30 something single woman hitting the bars, I'm sorry to disappoint but, in fact, this post is about a much less exciting type of trolling...

Recently, I have found myself trolling the job boards. You see, not only are we waist deep into the festive season, we're also waist deep into the the international school hiring season. So, sitting in my mother's kitchen, enjoying another drizzly day in suburbia and dreaming of a life a little less rainy, I couldn't resist the urge to cruise the a few of the good ol' standby hiring sites. Just to see...all the while keeping in mind that I cannot apply for any of them because of the way the timing of my life has worked out. It's amazing how fear and finances have a way of making us second guess what it is we really want. I have found myself on too may occasions over the last few weeks questioning my choice to put my current career and the financial surety that comes along with it on hold to live the life of a starving diver. I stumble across these jobs are are tailor made for me - TOK and IB English A1 at Bali International School or the same double course load at Billabong High School in the Maldives and I find myself saying...hmmm maybe the whole diving thing really is irresponsible. Maybe I am silly to think that it's a good idea to trade the opportunity to work the perfect job in the perfect location simply because I want to take the GAP year that I bypassed. I guess I worry that 2 years out of the classroom will push me too far down the candidates list when the time comes to jump back into the job pool that I'll end up mopping floors at some second rate school in Mexico City or something. Of course these are simply fears and as I've learned over the last few years, life unfolds in unexpected ways. I guess it's just scary jumping blindly into the first big risk I've ever really taken in my life. 
The only real things I'm certain are:

1) I am leaving for Thailand at the end of December
2) I'm going to Bali (at the moment the ticket is booked for the end of May but with my recovery being a bit of a guessing game it may be sooner or it may be later)
3) I don't expect to get another paycheck until September 2014 (now THAT'S scary)

It's scary to look ahead and see a complete and total mystery but I've been  in this situation before and I always land on my feet and after all is said and done, when I'm too old to dive but still old enough to teach I'll look back on the coming year and thank my lucky stars that I was brave enough to take the leap. 

Hello dark abyss of a future!!! I wonder who will be holding the light at the end of the tunnel?

Cheers from the land of eternal mystery
J