The bare necessities...?

List of completely unnecessary things that Japanese people can't seem to live without:

- overly excessive packaging (does a cookie really need to come in a plastic cover, inside a foil wrapper, inside an individual cardboard box, inside and bigger cardboard box, inside a plastic bag?)

- moist towelettes (cleanliness is next to godliness, in the pool hall, karaoke box, McDonald's, museum, shoe store, subway...you name it, they've got moist towelettes ready and waiting. Heaven forbid you start your rousing rendition of "living la vida loca" with dirty hands! Shame on you!)

- bureaucratic redtape to the umpteenth degree (make sure that you have at least 2 meetings to plan the real meeting. And make sure you make paperwork in triplicate and have everyone, including the mayor, sign it before you proceed. Oh, and also make sure that this whole process takes 2-6 months longer than it would in any other technologically advanced country.)

- boy bands who all look like girls (google the following : SMAP, NEWS, Kinki kids, Gackt, Orange Range, Da Pump)

- Winnie the pooh EVERYTHING! (You want it, it's got "Pooh-san" on it.)

- Pigtails and short skirts ( There is nothing more annoying than a 45 year old mother of 4 trying to look like a school girl with pigtails and a mini skirt. There is also nothing more annoying than a school girl trying to look like a toddler in pigtails and a mini skirt.)

- The word Kawaii (It translates to "cute" and applies to EVERYTHING in this country including said pigtails, mini skirts and pooh-san paraphanelia. It also applies to things that should NEVER be cute, for example, Unchi-kun chocolates for sale at Valentines day. It's a cute little plastic blob with a smile painted on it, filled with chocolates. Hint: Unchi = Poo, Kun = Mr. [or it's equivalent when used to refer to small boys and cute things]. Happy Valentine's isn't Mr. Poo KAWAII?!?)

- The consistent blare of pre-recorded songs sung about food by little kids in the grocery store (each section has it's very own theme song, sung in high pitched helium kid voices...for example "yummy yummy fish, it's healthy and delicious, blah blah blah..." or A,I,U,E O-nigiri (a kind of sushi)"

- Pizza with toppings such as: octopus, potato salad, mayonnaise, corn, seaweed, lettuce, cabbage, kim-chi, sweet potatoes and soft rice cakes.

List of completely necessary things that Japanese people seem to be able to live without:

- Central heating ( I can see my breath when I wake up in the morning. Case and point)

- 24 hour bank machines (if you want money you better get it out before 7pm and don't get into any financial trouble on the weekends, big daddy money machine ain't gonna be saving yo ass on Sunday)

- Hand dryers in public washrooms (they all carry around stanky hankies and dry thier hands with them. I always forget and have to dry my hands on my pants which evokes stares and whispers from my towel totting counterparts.)

- Shoes over a size 7 (hence why I spent 300 bucks on shoes when I was home for xmas)

- Flour tortillas ( what I wouldn't do for a soft taco)

- discipline for anyone under the age of 25 (this especially applies to delinquent Junior High school students and dogs)

- Pizza with cheese and tomato sauce.