On Wednesday I joined a special group here in Japan. I too became a member of the "japanese road pizza" club. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I got smucked by a car in broad daylight while riding my bike to school. I have often been an advocate for the "look both ways before you step on the gas" approach to driving, an approach which is slightly less prevalent here than in the West. Upon arriving in Japan I was adament that I not fall victim to the stereotypical view that Japanese people are bad drivers. I gave them a chance, I really did, but this is it. I'm now convinced that they are total ignoramouses. I was already right in front of this woman's car when she decided to hit the gas and plow right into me. Her problem...she only felt the need to look out the driver's side window before hitting the pedal of death. Once might think that it would be logical to look IN FRONT of your car before you go but that must be a "Western" way of thinking. So with that, I was road pizza. I don't remember hitting the ground but I do remember being on my feet yelling a never ending slew of English swear words at her.
All this was followed by me making sure that all my limbs still worked, going into shock, freaking out and running away to school (after having gotten her phone number and vitals). She was trying to take me to the hospital and all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. I was mad and confused and didn't understand a word she was saying so I bolted like an injured animal back into familiar territory (in that case Chuubu Junior High school.)
Now, to understand the following chapters of the story one must first understand the Japanese concept of total and complete over reaction, especially when it comes to the foreigner. Everything must be blown up to such grand, over the top, world shaking proportions that sometimes it's just easier to keep it a secret than to deal with the deluge that could follow. So I went to school shaken but from what I could tell undamaged and decided not to tell anyone. But a little while into the day my back was hurting so I decided to confide in my tea lady thinking that it would only go that far. But within an hour my she had told my English teacher who then told the Principal of the school who then told the superintendent of Education who then called the woman who then called the police and it was, as I had expected and feared, a HUGE deal.
They ended up hauling the woman into my school to have a meeting with me and all the people from the board of education and the police and the whole deal. So they made me go to the hospital for an afternoon of poking, proding and x-rays. After a thorough going over in the hospital the Japanese doctor assured me that "your back is not broken" (well no shit sherlock) and sent me home. I am now off school for the next few days to recoup. Having just bought a new DVD player this isn't a problem whatsoever. I am spending my time lying flat on my back watching TV. Joy.
That's it for now.
Remember everyone...look left, right and FORWARD before hitting the gas.
J
All this was followed by me making sure that all my limbs still worked, going into shock, freaking out and running away to school (after having gotten her phone number and vitals). She was trying to take me to the hospital and all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. I was mad and confused and didn't understand a word she was saying so I bolted like an injured animal back into familiar territory (in that case Chuubu Junior High school.)
Now, to understand the following chapters of the story one must first understand the Japanese concept of total and complete over reaction, especially when it comes to the foreigner. Everything must be blown up to such grand, over the top, world shaking proportions that sometimes it's just easier to keep it a secret than to deal with the deluge that could follow. So I went to school shaken but from what I could tell undamaged and decided not to tell anyone. But a little while into the day my back was hurting so I decided to confide in my tea lady thinking that it would only go that far. But within an hour my she had told my English teacher who then told the Principal of the school who then told the superintendent of Education who then called the woman who then called the police and it was, as I had expected and feared, a HUGE deal.
They ended up hauling the woman into my school to have a meeting with me and all the people from the board of education and the police and the whole deal. So they made me go to the hospital for an afternoon of poking, proding and x-rays. After a thorough going over in the hospital the Japanese doctor assured me that "your back is not broken" (well no shit sherlock) and sent me home. I am now off school for the next few days to recoup. Having just bought a new DVD player this isn't a problem whatsoever. I am spending my time lying flat on my back watching TV. Joy.
That's it for now.
Remember everyone...look left, right and FORWARD before hitting the gas.
J
1 Comments:
Hello Joe, I believe that Japanese drivers are some of the worst in the world. I risk my life nearly every day driving the same streets as them. You must feel extra vulnerable since you aren't protected by metal casing. I hope you don't have any problems come up later like I did when I got rear-ended (in america). Take it easy even though you think you're fine! Lucky duck, off work. See ya at the next soccer!
Katharine
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