Fear and loathing in the land of Rhetorical Grammar
Is it weird that I am 26 years old, completed a bachelor’s degree in English (with an A- average to boot) and was an English teacher for three years but I don’t have a clue what in the world The author of my very stimulating textbook Rhetorical Grammar is talking about? This Book has taught me, above and beyond anything else, to fear the bold print in a textbook. There I’ll be, happily reading along and out of nowhere, BAM! I come face to face with my worst enemy, grammar vocabulary in all its bold font horror. Intransitive, auxiliary verb, referent, prepositional phrase can there be anything more frightening? I’m actually not sure what is more frightening, the words themselves or that fact that I have managed to coast by for so long completely clueless about something people assume I know a lot about. How did I manage to get A’s on essays when I don’t even really know what a predicate is. Even worse, how the hell did I manage to convince the Japanese government to hire me to teach English to their impressionable youth when subordinate clause isn't even a whisper in my vocabulary? I’m sure that yes, I do know what it is, I do not however, know the evil bold print label for it. Predicate, predicate, predicate….AHHHHHHH!! Run away! Even the sound of half of these words makes my hair stand on end. They sound more like they belong in a sci-fi movie than in my textbook. “Let’s watch our hero captain Headword as he battles the evil Dr. Adverbial and his army of intransitive verbs” No wonder so many people are afraid of English class. This weekend I’m going to have to get down and dirty with the glossary in the back of this fearsome book and battle my demons in all their bold print terror.
Is it weird that I am 26 years old, completed a bachelor’s degree in English (with an A- average to boot) and was an English teacher for three years but I don’t have a clue what in the world The author of my very stimulating textbook Rhetorical Grammar is talking about? This Book has taught me, above and beyond anything else, to fear the bold print in a textbook. There I’ll be, happily reading along and out of nowhere, BAM! I come face to face with my worst enemy, grammar vocabulary in all its bold font horror. Intransitive, auxiliary verb, referent, prepositional phrase can there be anything more frightening? I’m actually not sure what is more frightening, the words themselves or that fact that I have managed to coast by for so long completely clueless about something people assume I know a lot about. How did I manage to get A’s on essays when I don’t even really know what a predicate is. Even worse, how the hell did I manage to convince the Japanese government to hire me to teach English to their impressionable youth when subordinate clause isn't even a whisper in my vocabulary? I’m sure that yes, I do know what it is, I do not however, know the evil bold print label for it. Predicate, predicate, predicate….AHHHHHHH!! Run away! Even the sound of half of these words makes my hair stand on end. They sound more like they belong in a sci-fi movie than in my textbook. “Let’s watch our hero captain Headword as he battles the evil Dr. Adverbial and his army of intransitive verbs” No wonder so many people are afraid of English class. This weekend I’m going to have to get down and dirty with the glossary in the back of this fearsome book and battle my demons in all their bold print terror.
Cheers
J
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