Talk to ya later...

Today is March 23rd. Only 11 more days left in Japan and I couldn’t be happier.

I have to admit that I am a bit surprised (and perhaps disappointed) at the fact that I have, as of yet, felt very little sadness at my imminent parting. I have been reading my friends’ websites who are still in Japan and many of them have posted these long, remorseful entries about their recent decisions not to re-contract (and hence return to their home countries in August). They talk about the things they will miss, the cherry blossoms, the students, the inescapable hospitality of the Japanese people around them. I have come across page upon page of soft-lensed, tear-laden separation anxiety from the land of poetry and sake. But surely, they can’t really feel like that… can they? Perhaps it is because very few of them have been here as long as I have (the intelligent ones bailed out after year 2)

So I ask myself where are those people who feel as I do? “Good bye Japan, we had some good times together but Holy Jesus, you have become really really annoying!”

And so we come to the “big question.” Am I a bad person for wanting nothing more than to step on that plane and never look back? How come I’m not running around, tears in my eyes, sucking up every last juicy ounce of Japanese culture? Where are my rolls upon rolls or photos of plum blossoms, my boxes full of Hello Kitty memorial photo albums, my paper fan collection? Where or where has my appreciation for all things Japanese gone? Was it ever really there? Did I ever really care? Sure I did, some time long, long, ago before I understood what people around me were saying and what an inescapable pain in the ass this place can be sometimes. Now it seems the only thing I can appreciate is the fact that I will soon be leaving. Sad that it has come to this.

I’m shitty at goodbyes, this I know. I hate the tears and the awkwardness. It’s all so contrived. The endless “We’ll see each other again” when everyone knows damn well that you never will. Why can’t we all just have a beer and say “shit yo, that was fun, send me an email.” Of course I have made a ton of friends here and of course I will grieve them but I don’t really feel so bad about leaving them because I’m am addicted to keeping in touch with people from my past. I don’t say goodbye, I usually just say “talk to you later.”

Maybe that’s how I should look at Japan.

“Word up J-town, Talk to you later.”
(when I’m far far away and have forgotten my current dislike for you)

Cheers
J